How Do You “Tell it to the Church” When What You’re Telling Is About the Elders?
Jesus tells us how to deal with a brother who sins against us. Matthew 18:15-17
When an elder or eldership is in sin, “missing the mark,” Paul tells a preacher, “As for those who persist in sin, rebuke them in the presence of all, so that the rest may stand in fear” 1 Timothy 5:20, ESV.
Does what Jesus said apply when the sinner is an elder or eldership?
- Jesus said, “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother” (Matthew 18:15, ESV).
- “But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses” (Matthew 18:16).
- “If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector (Matthew 18:17).
What I’ve seen practiced by two congregations in the same year — elders in each congregation were dishonest and underhanded.
- Concerned brethren approached them, shared their concerns, and asked them to reconsider and repent. No favorable response.
- Brethren brought “one or two more” and continued to reason with the elderships. No favorable response.
- The brothers met again with the elders. They asked permission to announce before closing prayer for a meeting of the members of the congregation to “tell it to the church.” The elders replied, “That’s not going to happen.” The brothers said, “We have the church directory. We’ll write every family and let them know what we’ve observed and done to follow what Jesus taught.” The elders answered, “That will split the church. If you want that on your conscience, then do it.”
- The brethren who observed dishonesty in the eldership placed membership at another congregation in the two towns during that year.
I don’t have the answers. I have questions.
Jesus said:
- Tell the person alone.
- Take one or two more.
- Tell the church.
When it involved elders, what I’ve seen practiced:
- An individual tells the elders.
- He then takes one or two more.
- He and one or two more attempt to “tell the church.”
- The elders refuse to cooperate in letting the church hear the matter.
- The brethren place membership with an area congregation.
- The elders continued doing what they were doing.
My Questions
- How can this be improved?
- Is it possible for an eldership to be wrong?
- How should it be handled?
- If you were an elder in either of those congregations, how would you like to be approached; how would you respond?
- If you were the preacher in one of those congregations, what is your responsibility in view of 1 Timothy 5:19, 20?
I am open to suggestions on how to improve that model.
- Should we improve Jesus’ teaching?
- If not, how can we improve how it is often implemented?
Tell me how you’ve seen this done or not done.
Please comment below:
(Visited 830 times, 830 visits today)
Previous Post
Next Post
I faced a situation where the elders used falsehood and underhanded methods in order to “not fire, but let me go” (their words). This was done in secret by three elders and one elder left out of the decision. No one in the congregation was aware of their intentions until I revealed to some of them I had been fired. This triggered a congregational meeting that evening in which the congregation questioned the elders about their motives and the reasoning for letting me go. They had no valid reasons for firing me, yet their reasoning was they wanted a new sign and new carpeting in the building. This resulted in a men’s meeting that concluded the only option was to ask the elders to step down, and retaining me as the preacher. The elders never officially resigned, however, two went to other congregations in the area and the third passed away shortly after this all transpired. The fourth elder, who was not involved in the decision, moved out of state for work. One of the elders (the “head” elder) went to work among many of the widows of our congregation trying to get them to leave by telling things he should not have repeated. This particular eldership was in the process of getting a fellow elder to resign when they hired me. I did not know this at the time, as they told me all the elders got along great and they had no problems. That elder eventually resigned to keep peace in the congregation. After getting to know the eldership, the man who resigned, in my opinion, was the only man that was truly qualified to be an elder,
Anyway, that is the way a bad eldership was handled where I was. Yes, it hurt the congregation as a result of the things being said by the one former elder. It’s just a matter of trusting God to lead you in right direction.
Steve,
Thank you for sharing your story.
The nuclear option in my gut is the answer that wants to come to my lips, but godly wisdom says that we are supposed to be slow to speak, slow to anger. Therefore, I have questions also. Did those brothers/sisters refrain from “telling it to the church”? I assume so since they moved to another congregation.
Presumably the church would not be divided BY the brothers/sisters pointing out sin, even elders’ sin. The division(if significant division occurred) should be on the unrepentant sinful elders. Am I wrong to look at this situation this way? Or would the perceived blame truly be on the the sin exposers because the elders are good at hiding their sinful actions to the majority?
Ronnie,
I appreciate your thinking. There are those who manipulate by being Tough Bargainers, Clergy Killers, Bullies (descriptions of “Diotrephes, who loves to have the preeminence”).
They will use any method to dominate.
It isn’t right to imitate them and use any method of gang violence to win.
How is the Jesus way to deal with these people?
Incidentally, preachers can also use the same methods. Elders are called to use scriptural ways to deal with overbearing and unscrupulous preachers and also minister to their families during difficult times.
It’s hard to know since I don’t know what the alleged sin was. In my experience, many people accuse elders of sin when in reality it is only that the elders have changed something, or many things. And those changes go against tradition. Many people want things to remain the same. When change is made, even though it is not sinful, it can be disconcerting. We can change without compromising truth. Singing is often one of the “changes” being made. Newer music is categorized as “praise music”, as though that is a bad thing. I’ve led singing most of my life. And I love the more traditional music. But I also love a lot of the new music, too. A respectful balance of old and new music should be supported. After all, at some point, all songs were new. Some songs don’t really belong in a congregational, a Capella worship setting. Trying to fit a square peg into a round hole will never work. A healthy understanding of what works well in your congregation is crucial to church growth.
Paul,
In this blog post, the reported sin to me in both congregations was the elders being dishonest in their communication to the congregations. They withheld information and gave false information in decisions they were making to carry out their agenda.
Neither were trying to move the congregation in a liberal direction. The elders were not truthful in some of the decisions they had made.
Agree, Jerrie! The nuclear option thought I had in mind was to call the elders out in the meeting they refused to agree upon(IF there was in deed dishonesty in reporting). Letting the chips fall where they may…all the while following through with Jesus’ final step, tell it to the church—with hopes of winning the elders, in this case.
A church split may occur, which may or may not happen. However, is the cancerous tumor that remains worse than the surgery that could save the body? Bad analogy?
There are leaders in churches and elders/leaders in churches. When men are leaders and not elders, they too, need to be approached and their sin addressed. You answered your question with these words: “When an elder or eldership is in sin …”
When an entire eldership or 90% of one is wallowing in sin, Jesus words apply to the just as well as the individual. If sinning elders will not repent, Tit. 3:10-11 and Rom. 16:17 are appropriate.
Brad,
How would you do that?
1. Stand up in the middle of services?
2. How do you know others will listen?
3. Would you write letters when the elders don’t permit an announcement of a meeting of the church?
As you have wisely noted on many occasions, every situation is different. My thinking is bathe this for a good while in prayer and have the faith that God will provide an opportunity to handle it in the best way. Then take that answer to the prayer, proceed with the best possible spirit, and accept the consequences. You might end up needing to leave the congregation shaking off the dust as you go, but like the widow, you have “done what you could.” No last name, but I am a preacher/elder.
An elder is the servant of the church. A gift Eph. 4:. He is there to take care of the people (Ezekiel. 34:. He is ti love all the way the lord loves him. He is not the boss, the 12 were told that would not be true among the apostles, how could it be true among the disciples? This is a major problem, intergtity, honesty are what the eldership is about. The elder who said you will split the church, should have been able to see what the truth would do. If we compromise what Jesus taught we need to throw the cross out. Jesus is the way, truth and life, if it doesn’t fit him, it doesn’t fit us..,take a stand!
Sometimes an elder (eldership) may believe they are correct in taking the path they have chosen. If one or several are certain they are right, one voice or several will not convince them otherwise. John mentions this type of leader(s). Elders are imperfect men, often doing a thankless work, to the best of their ability, which some are not satisfied with. that imperfection causes some, who can always do it better, to collect likeminded members to support them in a “coup.” Sometimes the “troublemakers” are correct, but go about doing the correcting wrong. Sometimes they (the elders or the correctors) listen, sometimes they don’t. The so-called “troublemakers” could be right, but mishandle things. Sometimes the right people listen, appreciate the help, make corrections, and peace prevails, the work continues, and growth happens. Sometimes the right kind of help is not appreciated and division results. Few will honor correction, no matter how well presented or the success desired. When members leave, they are either correct in doing so, or not. Division seldom produces innocence. No matter how “right” one may be, there is always someone else who believes it is wrong and sinful. Even Paul and Barnabas had words and that ended their working relationship. I’ve been where I am for about 43 years. I’ve seen the heartache caused by good people who thought they were right. If one is wrong and believes he is right, time may reveal the truth to that person. “May!” If he was right, few who opposed him will acknowledge it. When perfection escapes us, “close” justifies. I suppose most assemblies have at one time or another experienced that imperfection.
The following I received from Doug Pell. Doug is working on a new book on leadership: Set In Order the Things That Are Lacking: Lessons in Biblical Leadership.
I am reading the book and appreciate the Biblical base and practical applications that come from his experience as an elder and a business coach. Be looking for the launch of this book.
Doug’s email:
Jerrie,
This is such an important topic. You are asking the right questions. I am adapting my answers from the manuscript I sent you a few weeks ago. Use any or all of my comments. Brevity in my comments will necessarily lead to more questions. I am sending via email because I am not sure how your website works. I did not want any of this to be posted without your review.
Doug Pell
Q: How can the process you outlined be improved?
A: The following checks and balances must be considered well before the sheep feel it necessary to approach the sinful, unrepentant shepherd(s).
• Elder’s self-evaluation (2 Cor 13:5). Do your elders self evaluate?
• Elder-to-elder evaluation (Acts 20:28–31). Do your elders evaluate each other?
• Evangelist with fear of God, not man (2 Tim 4:2–5). Do you have an evangelist that is more concerned with his health-care plan than he is with God’s health-care plan for His church? If so, you have more than an elder problem.
• LAST RESORT (1 Tim 5:19–22). Are we jumping into this too soon? David waited approximately 38 years after God rejected King Saul before his eventual rise to leadership over all Israel could begin. David made it clear that God would deal with His leadership (1 Sam 24:6). Colloquially, “God put him (Saul) in, God can take him (Saul) out.’ I am not suggesting the brethren wait 38 years for God to deal with an unqualified, negligent, or faithless eldership. I am suggesting long-suffering accompanied with persistent and consistent pressure on the sinful leaders to repent.
Q: Is it possible for an eldership to be wrong?
A: Most definitely. Satan is especially interested in converting these men. They may even be mature in the faith, but be novices in the ability to lead (shepherd). They must grow beyond their immature state rapidly upon assuming the role as elders. Self-evaluation and elder-to-elder evaluation must be an integral process within our leaders. Elderships that exclude the preacher from their deliberations should reconsider their motives for doing so. The preacher can be and must be a voice of reason who in many cases is closer to the sheep than the shepherds (unfortunately).
Q: How should it be handled?
A: Patiently, humbly, persistently. Do not give up. Look at the Corinthian church. Find solace in the heart of Titus on the island of Crete. Look to Jesus and ask Him if there was ever a moment when He wanted to turn His back and walk away.
Q: If you were an elder in either of those congregations, how would you like to be approached; how would you respond?
A: I would like to be approached the same way I approach others. Without being too cute with this serious topic, “turn-about is fair play.” “Dear brother elder, we would like to approach you the same way we have seen you approach others caught in sin. We are not experienced in this. Please forgive us if we get it wrong.” Additionally, you can expect a contrite heart from me because as an elder, I realize servant-leadership is about a desire to serve followed by a willingness to help provide leadership. Too many people get those priorities mixed, then pride enters the room.
Q: If you were the preacher in one of those congregations, what is your responsibility in view of 1 Timothy 5:19, 20?
A: I would be in that “out of season” time Paul referred to (2 Tim 4:2) and I would have to dig deep for the “great patience and instruction” necessary to do the work I was on the earth to do.
The eldership that proactively educates the congregation on the above processes will rarely find a need for the LAST RESORT. When the LAST RESORT fails, perhaps the reason is the Lord left that congregation long ago when unqualified men were appointed to the eldership. There was nothing you could have done to save the church.
leaders are members first! whatever is done with members, do that same with leaders
Jerrie, it seems to me that deciding what to do after getting in the middle of a conflict is not wise. When the anxiety is high, people do not act reasonably; they react or get defensive, usually with fight/flight behavior. These are questions that should be addressed in calmer times when anxiety is low, so that people are consciously aware of what the scriptures say. Study the scriptures on this and talk together as a congregation about what to do if/when this kind of trouble comes.