
Jesus plan of conflict resolution worked for me
I was in a lower grade of elementary school. When I arrived at the place where I waited for the school bus, there was new gravel on the shoulder of the road.
I thought how neat it would be to throw a piece of gravel and hit the hubcaps on passing cars. I proceeded to enjoy my new sport.
The loud clank made an exciting noise as the cars passed. And I may have missed the hubcaps a time or two.
As one particular car passed and I connected, there was screeching of tires as the car came to an abrupt halt.
Mr. Oliver Butts got out of the car and said, “Young man, don’t ever do that again! If you do, I’ll tell your daddy and he will tan your hide!”
That was the end of my rock throwing game. I found other ways to amuse myself while waiting for the school bus.
I lived in fear for several days. I dreaded my father coming home from work. Mr. Butts was in the same line of work as my father and they saw each other frequently. I was concerned that he might proceed to tell my father. I would be in serious trouble if he found out what I was doing.
Weeks went by and I began to feel more comfortable.
Mr. Butts did exactly what he said he would do. He said if I ever did that again he would tell my father.
I didn’t do that ever again. He didn’t tell my father.
That’s what Jesus said to do when someone says, “misses the mark.”
Moreover if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother. —Matthew 18:15
Observations from that encounter
- I didn’t think about the consequences of what I was doing. I thought it would be fun to hear the noise and it was, for a short period of time.
- What I was doing wasn’t good. I hadn’t thought of the possibility of “missing the mark” and hitting something other than the hubcap.
- Mr. Butts recognized the problem and addressed it quickly.
- He talked in language that I could understand.
- He followed Jesus’ instruction of coming to me first to remedy the problem.
- He explained to me consequences of not following his advice.
- I believed him. I was thankful for the process he followed. He had “gained his brother.”
- I was in fear for several days because I had some doubt as to whether he would stop with doing what he said he would do.
- As weeks and months progressed, I realized he meant what he said.
- I’ve been thankful for more than 70 years for his concern about me and the way he expressed it.
I wish that I and others had the concern, urgency, simplicity of speech, dedication to doing the right thing at the right time in the right way, and doing what we said we would do when someone in our life misses the mark with us.