Grief

Communication | Conflict | Deacons | Delegation | Elder-Preacher Relationships | Goals | Grace | Gratitude | Grief | Growth | Individual Responsibility | Influence | Leadership | Leadership Selection | Listening | Overseeing | Sheep | Shepherd-Shepherd Relationships | Shepherding

Culturally Diverse Church in Raleigh, North Carolina
ByJerrie Barber September 5, 2017September 5, 2017

We had a hard working group for the 7th New Shepherds Orientation Workshop. It was a beautiful drive around the Northern border of the Smokies the weekend of August 25-27. This is one of the most culturally diverse congregations I’ve visited. The Spanish and English worship together. Their website is in both English and Spanish….

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Conflict | Deacons | Delegation | Grief | Individual Responsibility | Influence | Leadership | Leadership Selection | Sheep | Shepherding

“Bless Our _______ as They Make Their Decisions”
ByJerrie Barber July 4, 2017July 31, 2025

One of the frequent petitions I hear about elders in public prayers is, “Lord, bless our elders as they make their decisions.” I often cringe when I hear that. What about, “Bless our elders as they shepherd the flock; bless our elders as they set examples of excellence, dedication, service, and holiness; bless our elders…

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Conflict | Elder-Preacher Relationships | Grief | Leadership Selection | Termination | Transition

Releasing Your Preacher and Quickly Replacing Him
ByJerrie Barber January 3, 2017January 4, 2017

A few months ago, within a short time, I received two emails from good elder friends. One had, and the other was about to release his preacher and start the selection process. Each asked for men to contact for their next preacher. Here’s the email I sent: Questions: When will your preacher be informed of…

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Conflict | Grief | Leadership | Leadership Selection | Overseeing | Shepherd-Shepherd Relationships | Shepherding

Have You Been to an Eldership Funeral?
ByJerrie Barber September 20, 2016June 13, 2022

We were anticipating more leadership in the congregation. In a few weeks, we looked forward to completing the selection process, and appointing a new shepherd or two. I asked the elders if they were planning an eldership funeral. They hadn’t thought about that. I explained. It was my observation that often when new elders are…

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Elder-Preacher Relationships | Grief | Individual Responsibility | Termination | Transition

When a Preacher Fires the Church
ByJerrie Barber June 7, 2016November 14, 2019

I talk to many preachers who’ve been relieved of their preaching responsibilities. From their experience and mine (The Best Day to Fire Your Preacher; 3 Ways I Helped Get Myself Fired), I know it’s a painful time. I remember the loneliness and helplessness of that experience. I’ve stayed in contact with friends for several months…

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Communication | Conflict | Elder-Preacher Relationships | Grief | Individual Responsibility | Leadership | Overseeing | Shepherding | Termination | Transition

Buying a Tombstone…
ByJerrie Barber March 15, 2016December 10, 2024

I’m shopping for two items: an Apple watch and a tombstone. One seems more exciting than the other, but I want to buy both. With the watch, I look forward to more enjoyable runs, sending and receiving messages, checking on news and weather, and looking at emails. With the tombstone, I’m reminded I won’t be…

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Anger | Communication | Conflict | Grief | Individual Responsibility | Shepherd-Shepherd Relationships

Preventing Leadership Suicide:
ByJerrie Barber February 16, 2016July 5, 2022

I hereby resign as a…of this congregation — effective immediately! There may be a nod of the head, his wife rises, and they exit the back door. Or a gasp when even his wife didn’t know it was coming. I’ve observed or heard of it happening from elders, deacons, and preachers. Without discussion or planning,…

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Communication | Conflict | Elder-Preacher Relationships | Grief | Individual Responsibility

3 Ways I Helped Get Myself Fired
ByJerrie Barber July 7, 2015August 1, 2022

In a previous post, The Best Day of the Week to Fire Your Preacher, I told of the way my dismissal was mishandled. There is certainly a better way and a better time to tell a preacher he needs to leave. But the elder who did this wasn’t a vicious man. He was a gentle…

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Grief | Individual Responsibility | Shepherding

Where Does A Person Go After Suicide?
ByJerrie Barber May 5, 2015January 26, 2022

What is the eternal destination of a person who commits suicide? People contemplating suicide have asked this question as well as relatives and friends of those who killed themselves. Last year I was called to preach the funeral of a friend who committed suicide. After a few introductory remarks, I said, “Let’s discuss what people…

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