Conflict

Communication | Conflict | Deacons | Delegation | Elder-Preacher Relationships | Goals | Gossip | Individual Responsibility | Leadership | Leadership Selection | Overseeing | Sheep | Shepherd-Shepherd Relationships | Shepherding

New Shepherds Orientation Workshop, Smyrna, Tennessee
ByJerrie Barber April 4, 2017April 4, 2017

The fifth New Shepherds Orientation Workshop was conducted with the elders, ministers, and spouses of the Smyrna Church of Christ, Smyrna, Tennessee, February 23-25. We met at NHC in Murfreesboro Friday night and Saturday. We enjoyed a delicious meal together at The Chop House Saturday night after closing the workshop at 5:00. I stayed over…

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Communication | Conflict | Delegation | Goals | Individual Responsibility | Influence | Leadership | Listening | Sheep | Shepherding

7 Ways to Deal with the Pain of Being a Shepherd
ByJerrie Barber February 7, 2017November 3, 2021

I’ve worked with many shepherds who start with a great vision of their work. “We want to get out of management, details of the business, caring for the building, controlling finances, and become shepherds. We want to know the sheep, lead them, help them, and encourage them.” Often within three months the shepherding goal is…

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Communication | Conflict | Elder-Preacher Relationships | Individual Responsibility | Leadership | Leadership Selection | Overseeing | Termination | Transition

If You Appoint a New Elder, I’ll Quit!
ByJerrie Barber January 17, 2017October 8, 2024

I’ve been resigning since 1988. I’d been in Dalton, Georgia, eleven years. I was looking for another place to preach. I talked with sixteen congregations. Eight of the sixteen churches had released their preachers. In each of the eight congregations where the preacher was moving without being self-motivated, they had appointed new elders within two…

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Conflict | Elder-Preacher Relationships | Grief | Leadership Selection | Termination | Transition

Releasing Your Preacher and Quickly Replacing Him
ByJerrie Barber January 3, 2017January 4, 2017

A few months ago, within a short time, I received two emails from good elder friends. One had, and the other was about to release his preacher and start the selection process. Each asked for men to contact for their next preacher. Here’s the email I sent: Questions: When will your preacher be informed of…

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Communication | Conflict | Leadership | Shepherd-Shepherd Relationships

Should Decisions Be by Minority or Majority?
ByJerrie Barber November 15, 2016April 27, 2022

We value unity. We believe in consensus. We have unanimity on every decision. We never make a decision unless everyone is in agreement.” The way it’s been presented to me: it’s more spiritual to have consensus, every person agreeing on every decision, than to go with the majority when one or two hold a contrary…

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Communication | Conflict | Individual Responsibility | Influence | Leadership | Shepherding

Have you apologized, repented, confessed lately?
ByJerrie Barber October 18, 2016October 18, 2016

I don’t have a problem with them making a mistake. I can accept that. We all make mistakes. What hurts is when they make mistakes and fail to acknowledge them — and worse when they deny it was a problem and try to cover it up.” A bishop must be blameless, above reproach (1 Timothy…

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Communication | Conflict | Elder-Preacher Relationships | Individual Responsibility | Leadership | Leadership Selection | Transition

When a Preacher Is Older Than the Elders
ByJerrie Barber October 4, 2016October 3, 2016

Preacher: “I’m ten years older and have been preaching all my life, and he’s trying to tell me what to do.” Elder: “Our preacher doesn’t respect the elders. He’s older and thinks he should tell us how to lead the church.” I’ve experienced and observed this for several decades: a changing attitude and relationship of…

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Conflict | Grief | Leadership | Leadership Selection | Overseeing | Shepherd-Shepherd Relationships | Shepherding

Have You Been to an Eldership Funeral?
ByJerrie Barber September 20, 2016June 13, 2022

We were anticipating more leadership in the congregation. In a few weeks, we looked forward to completing the selection process, and appointing a new shepherd or two. I asked the elders if they were planning an eldership funeral. They hadn’t thought about that. I explained. It was my observation that often when new elders are…

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Communication | Conflict | Deacons | Goals | Growth | Individual Responsibility | Leadership | Overseeing | Shepherd-Shepherd Relationships | Shepherding

Starting from Scratch
ByJerrie Barber July 19, 2016October 5, 2020

When new shepherds are appointed, they usually go by former shepherds’ rules which are often unconscious, unspoken, but understood. A pattern has been set about agendas (or lack of), who speaks when, prayers (number and time), how the group makes decisions, and how much deacons’ work elders do. Orientation is usually coming to the first…

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Communication | Conflict | Elder-Preacher Relationships | Gratitude | Individual Responsibility | Leadership | Overseeing | Shepherding

When Your Preacher Becomes THE Pastor
ByJerrie Barber April 5, 2016January 28, 2022

Why don’t people respect the authority of elders? Don’t they know the church is to follow the elders — not the preacher?” The Bible does teach that ordained men are to oversee each congregation. I’m sure there are strains of the preacheritis virus around that infect some people. Let me share with you something else…

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