On the fifth Tuesday of each quarter of the year, I share a book I’ve read recently. I highlighted “mustard seeds,” which impressed me. I hope you find one or two that will be helpful to you.
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This is an excellent book for a short introduction to family systems.
Here are the “mustard seeds” I highlighted:
When you are anxious, you are worrying about a future that has not yet occurred. That’s bad enough. Worse yet, anxiety can run amok and make life miserable for you and for those around you (page 7, Kindle Edition).
A non-anxious presence is someone who connects emotionally with others in a healthy way. They show they care, but not so much that they let their own anxiety get in the way (page 9, Kindle Edition).
When you react without thinking, you are replaying scripts that you learned from your family of origin while growing up. (page 16, Kindle Edition).
The best thing you can do when facing the anxiety of others (and your own) is to slow things down. Take a deep breath. Close your eyes. Say you need a minute (page 17, Kindle Edition).
A triangle occurs when the anxiety in a relationship between two people makes one or both uncomfortable. Instead of dealing with each other in a healthy way, that is, to express themselves without being adaptive or reactive (see chapter 4), they triangle in a third person or issue (page 20, Kindle Edition).
Triangles are fantastic in the most awful way. They are fantastic because they enable us to avoid responsibility for ourselves and our relationships. They are awful because they enable us to avoid responsibility for ourselves and our relationship (page 21, Kindle Edition).
When we try to take away the pain of another, we make them less capable of growth. When we help people avoid the consequences of their actions, we make them less responsible (page 27, Kindle Edition).
To find more information or buy this book on Amazon, click the link or the picture below:
Servant of Jesus, husband to Gail, father to Jerrie Wayne Barber, II and Christi Parsons, grandfather, great-grandfather, Interim Preacher, Shepherd coach, Ventriloquist, barefoot runner, ride a cruiser bicycle
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